Free

Why do people fall constantly for free stuff, freebies, free gifts, free counselling, free pills etc? How is it different from begging? when do people draw that line between accepting something for free and getting something for free? I make it sound so complicated but actually the answer is simple - when the giver announces without being asked then it does not hurt the ego of the receiver but if the person receiving had to ask for something without having to pay for it then the person who is asking for things considers himself to be begging. And the giver too considers that he has given alms. There also situations whereby we give away things moved with pity, there we consider that we are helping someone even though we are helping a beggar we draw a clear line mentally.

Psychology of Waiting!

Psychology of waiting? Is there anything called psychology of waiting? Yes may be not as a theory but it does exist and all of use it unconsciously to achieve various ends. We can see this concept even in the major religions of the World including Christinity where people waited for 2000 years for Christ and they are now waiting for the second coming of Christ; in Hinduism people have been waiting for the avatars. It is such a powerful phenomenon and infuses hope in some and desperation in others. Those who can cope with it seems to have greater endurance. What happens when we wait? It depends on what we are waiting for, if you are waiting for your girl friend it is a pleasant waiting. Even while waiting for your girlfirend without know whether she will come or not, it can be painful waiting. So waiting seems to trigger both fear and pleasure zones of our brain making us feel the intense feeling that we have. Not many of us are good at waiting especially when everything around us has taught us the importance of being quick. Waiting makes us weak at times and it will make us compromise. We will be ready to come down a great deal if we were made to wait for too long and what we are waiting is too important for us. Some nasty bosses make us wait for too long for that promotion that we are expecting, that rise that we are expecting. While we are waiting we will be all the more submissive because we will be afraid the becoming aggressive we may lose what we are waiting for. A pregnant woman waits for her baby's delivery just to hold her baby in her hands and along with it is tinged the fear of painful delivery and risk to life. So when we are waiting there can be a mixture of more than one feeling.

Psychological effects of political violence

The concern of this essay would be to evaluate how Freud’s psychoanalysis is able to help the counselor deal with the victims of political violence. To facilitate this discussion this work will a) try to define the term– ‘victim’, b) try to show the possible ways of falling a victim of political violence c) briefly list the aims of counseling and d) discuss the tools used by psychoanalysis and its application to the victims of political violence.

WHO IS A VICTIM?
Toma Tomov defines the term ‘victim’ as follows: “as a concept from the interpersonal realm, ‘victim’ builds on the experience of helplessness and hopelessness that befalls individuals, who have been denied the right to make a choice.” He goes on to say that becoming a victim is a traumatic event. This put one outside the range of usual human experience.

Political or Interpersonal violence can affect one physically or emotionally. When one becomes a victim of violence it throws one off-guard because it is outside the usual boundaries of human experience. It shatters the foundational presumption of social relationship namely that there is an implicit social contract of the community which has ‘live and let live’ as its policy.

As Toma Tomov observes, the trauma is due to the “fact that the source of violence emerges as a result of a role shift taking place with agencies such as the police or the secret service. There is a basic understanding that the police force exists to offer protection. In the case of political violence, there is a shift from protective to violent role.” This understanding would then mean that the victim is victimised because he or she is evil. The victim becomes like the child that has become the victim to incest. Political violence thus abuses the individuals through the agents who are believed to be protectors.

How does stress cause acne?

Stress causes acne as per the number of studies. Acne is purely a physical condition and it is affected or aggravated by a psychological factor stress. This shows how our mind body are closely linked. Stress triggers adrenal glands to produce certain hormones which is responsible for stimulating the sebaceous glands which produces sebum. Sebum is an oily substance that is produced by the body to lubricate our skin but when this oily substance is blocked inside the pores of the skin it reacts with the harmless bacteria that resides inside the skin and the mixture of sebum and bacteria form acne. So when we are stressed excessive sebum is secreted which increases the chances of getting acne. Moreover when we are stressed our immunity level comes down and the acne lesions do not heal because of this. Thus stress aggravates acne.

Enneagram Basics - What is Enneagram?

Enneagram is believed to be a Sufi way of classifying human personality types and it seems to have its origin in Afghanistan. Enneagram is 2000 years old. Eneagram was initially a oral tradition that was passed on my Sufi masters who revealed to the individual disciples that part of Enneagrm that is pertaining to that individual. It has become popular among the Christian circles in the late 90s.

The Sufi Ennieagram teaches one to look into oneself to discover one's own personality types. The term enneagram has Greek origin, 'enneas' meaning nine. The nine types are listed below.

Ones:
Perfectionists, Reformers, Judges,

Twos:
Givers, Assistants, Helpers,Caretakers,

Threes:
Performers, Achievers, Status Seekers

Fours:
Artists, Romantics, Aesthetes, Individualists,

Fives:
Observers, Thinkers, Experts, Investigators,

Sixes:
Questioners, Loyalists, Heroes,Defenders, Rebels, Skeptics,

Sevens:
Adventurers,Sensationalists, Enthusiasts,

Eights:
Asserters, Bosses, Challengers, Mavericks,

Nines:
Preservationists, Mediators,Peace Seekers, Peacemakers,

Dealing with change of job

If you are in the process of changing your job or quitting your job to venture into self-owned business do not hesitate; if that is what you want to do then go ahead with your decision because all of us need job satisfaction and without that there is no way you are going to be happy irrespective of the amount of money that you are going to earn. I always use this little anecdote that I read somewhere in this context. One of the landlords hired a farmer to chop wood and agreed to pay him a very handsome wage on daily basis - but the crunch is that he has to use the blunt side of the axe to chop the wood and the landlord told the farmer that he is not worry about the amount of wood that he will chop but he should never stop chopping. The farmer found it strange but agreed to the terms and conditions of the landlord because the pay was good. He struggled through the first day and got is pay; but the second day he came to return the wage he received on the previous the landlord was surprised and the farmer told him, "When I chop wood I want to see the chips of wood fly by, but in this job it is not happening and it will never happen."

There he went as he did not get his job satisfaction.

So when you want to change your job do not hesitate rather than suffering on daily basis, it is better to change your job. Be aware of your inner movements and decide. However, if you have heavy financial commitments make necessary arrangements before you quit your job. If you dont plan properly you will be exhibiting a number of psychlogical symptoms including stress and axiety.

Repression - Defence Mechanism

Repression is one of the common forms of defence mechanisms. The ego pushes down painful memories deep into the subconscious or certain unapproved desires are pushed down. The conscious mind is not aware of this but however, what has been repressed stays alive deep within and spurts out as bottled up emotions. Repression is also sometimes called as motivated forgetting. Some of the classical examples of repression are - sexual urge felt by a man towards an elderly female is quickly pushed down; an abused child though does not remember the painful abusive days has suppressed the painful memories deep down whereas at a later stages of adulthood the individual will start facing problems in establishing relationships. Unless and until the unconscious memory that has been repressed is brought out the problem faced by the individual in establishing relationships will not be rectified.

Denial - Defense Mechanism

Denial is one of the common forms of defense mechanisms. The subject refuses to accept the reality because it is too painful to digest. This is a simple form of denial. There are various levels of denial. For example one may refuse to accept the loss of a loved one.

The second type is that the person may accept the factual part of the painful event but not the seriousness of the event. This is minimization.

The third type is the acceptance of the fact and the seriousness of the painful event but refusing to take responsibility. This is transference.

Denial as a defence mechanism is often compared to the behavior of the Ostrich which buries its head under the sand in times of danger and pretends as if the danger does not exist.

Denial is one of the Level 1 type defense mechanisms. This does not help the individual to face and handle the painful aspects of life in a practical way. In its milder forms one can deny one's emotions and feelings. For example, one may deny the fact that he/she is angry with someone who is being a constant source of irritation on daily basis.

Study of Denial as the defense mechanism helps a great deal in handling addiction. It is not only in the case of addiction it can also be seen with various life threatening diseases. For instance the patient who had a mild form of heart attack refuses to accept the medical condition leading to the delay of the required treatment.

Defence Mechanism/Defense Mechanisms

Defense/Defence Mechanism

Defence mechanisms are psychological approaches adapted by human beings human response to coping with various situations of life and to retain one's self image. It is not only an individual's approach. There are defence mechanisms employed by groups and countries at a bigger level. All of us, meaning including normal people too use defence mechanisms to handle life at varying degrees. It becomes pathological only when it is taken to its extremes which affects the physical and mental health of the individual. Theory of Ego Defense Mechanisms was postulated by Sigmund Freud.

According to Freudian Psychoanalytic theory, we operate on the basis of pleasure principle, which seeks to immediate gratification of desires. However, it may not be possible to have all the desires gratified immediately which sometimes may have social implications. For example, one might be urged to have sexual relation with an attractive woman/stranger. However, ones ego tries to fight this urge for various reasons. In the process, the desire is pushed down without coming to the conscious level leading to repression which is one form of defense mechanism.

There are a number of defense mechanisms which can be classified as Level 1, Level 2, Level 3 and Level 4 ego defence mechanisms. However, there is no final consensus on the total number of defense mechanisms and their classification.

Auto Writing

Auto writing or automatic writing is performed by an individual not by his conscious efforts but by invoulantry action. The subject does not control the writing or the thought process involved. The writing resulting from auto writing need not be necessarily be legible or even intelligible. It can be anything ranging from scribbling to coherent words, sentences or even paragraphs. No one knows what exactly controls the output. The fact is that a specific result cannot be desired when it is desired, then it may no longer be classified under auto writing as it becomes voluntary writing.

It is some times used by psychiatrists with their patients to get the frustrations buried deep down in the subconscious.

Further Tips on Handling Stage Fear

In the previous post I discussed about a very simple technique to start working on your stage fear, that is performing before a mirror.

As you might have heard already one of the tips is to regularize your breathing pattern and gain control over it before you get on to the podium. You can use simple breathing techniques. One such is to count 1 to 4 when you inhale and exhale. This has to be done in a rhythmic way leading to regularizing your breathing.

When we are tensed we tend to breath faster and this will further stimulate your hormones that prepare you to fight or flee the situation. So by gaining control over your breathing cycle you can reduce the level of tension.

How to handle stage fear?

Stage fear haunts even those professionals who are highly qualified in their own respective fields and have wide ranging experience. However, when it comes to standing up before a crowd and talking, it is a different story. They become tongue tied, sweat a great deal, use wrong words in the wrong place, make grammatical errors in their sentences, become fidgity and even shiver. All these will vanish with constant effort and regular practice. All the above symptoms are because of the over consciousness about their own self and the preoccupation regarding how well they are performing and what others are thinking about their appearance, speech, mannerisms, dress code, voice etc. One of the easiest exercise for the beginners who aspire to become public speakers or who want to make a presentation is to spend 10 to 15 minutes time everyday reading the newspaper aloud standing in front of a mirror. This way you will learn to break the ice on having to speak aloud before a crowd. When you are reading in front of a mirror you can change you can watch yourself and your posture and make necessary changes to present yourself as a confident speaker. There are lot of techniques and tools one can use just not to over come their stage fear but also can excel as public speakers. I am hoping to share in the coming days, some of the techniques those helped me in the early days.

Dyslexia

Dyslexia is a term that is used in neurological psychological systems to denote severe disability that impairs the ability to read initially then leading to erratic spelling. This is a cognitive disorder and this condition does not affect or tell anything about the IQ level or other aspects of intelligence level of the affected. It is identified in the early childhood. This condition due does not affect the normal life as it revolves only around the written communication and with the latest language tools others will not even notice such a disability in the affected person.

Depression and IT Professionals

Depression has always found its entry in to the lives of people of all eras, be it Buzz Aldrin who walked on the moon or princess Diana who ended up in a tragic death. With the evolving technology and increasing emphasis to the IT related work culture, depression has found its new avenue to haunt human race of the 21st century. There are statistics that the depression ratio is on the rising scale amongst the IT professionals. One of the reasons being the high work pressure and heavy mental activity that is demanded by this field. Also, it does not allow the required physical activity leading to other health related issues which indirectly lead to depression. Continuous starring at the monitor for 8 hours or more on daily basis strain the eye nerves which lead to fatigue. When it becomes the order of the day then it will eventually show up as depression and lack of interest in the job.

Cortisol Craving - Stress Weight Gain

Beware, if you are too stressed you can be gaining weight. Pschological well being is very essential for physical well being and this fact need cannot be stressed enough. Stress when it is of temporary nature seems to result in weigt loss when it becomes chronic stress it seems to play just the opposite role. Chronic stress increases the production of cortisol a harmone that is responsible for creating hunger. When cortisol secretion is increased it leads to craving for food leading to over eating. For more information on this you can check - Stress and weight loss.

So if your increasing weight puts you to mental stress beware this will pull you into a vicious circle. You need to work on your mind before you can workout. Unlike before today you can find endless amount of information on weight loss and easy weight loss tips available online and most of them are simple and safe to try.

Don't give in to your stress! Cultivate healthy habit to fight your stress.

Peotillomania

Peotillomania!
I came across another funny type of mania; actually heard of this first time while gathering information about different types of manias. Peotillomania refers to condition which is a form of nervous whereby one constantly pulls one's penis. Unlike the other types of mania this can be one of the most embarassing forms of mania. Another term used to refer to this condition is "false masturbation. This is a form of an anxiety disorder.

Compulsive Shopping - Oniomania or Shopoholism

I was surprised to learn that I have been cherishing mild form of oniomania or compulsive shopping. I never knew that it is this manic urge that I have been fighting at least twice a month. Actually, I never knew that there can be such a disorder, I have joked a number of times that I am getting addicted to shopping without really knowing that it is an identified form of manic disorder. Wondering how to deal with it before it gets serious. I am afraid that I may start over using my credit card and land up bankrupt. I am also afraid that I may break the basic rule of thumb - living within one's means. Oniomania is also referred popularly as shopoholism. Oniomania is from the Greek word - 'onios' which means 'for sale'. Another concern here is that I do not want to become financially irresponsible giving in to the compulsive urges. It is time to seek some professional help I guess before it gets out of hand.

Difference between Phobia and Mania

Do you know the difference between phobia and mania? Phobia is a condition where there is an undue and irrational fear of some thing; where as mania an aggressive desire towards something. For example agrophobia is the fear of being in open spaces and agromania is the craving to be in open spaces. Both phobia and mania are manifestations of defense mechanisms we use to handle situations that we are incapable of handling in a healthy way. Fear in general is not a psychological pathology and it is actually a self preservation mechanism which all of us should possess; if we do not fear of flames we would walk into fire and burn ourselves alive. When this fear becomes our preoccupation then it becomes difficult to lead a normal life; our interaction with the external world gets impeded. Similarly, desire in its essence is not a psychological pathology, but when it interferes with our normal day-to-day activities, then it becomes a pathological condition.

Trichotillomania -

Have you heard of trichotillomania; I just came across this interesting forms of mania. Trichotillomania has to be pronounced as tree-ko-tillo-mania - just pronounce as you read it. The word origins are traced back to Greek. "Tricha" is hair in Greek and "tillein" again in Greek means to pull or pluck. Therefore Trichotillomania can be etymologically defined as, hair pulling mania. Many of us have this symptom in varying degrees of seriousness, it is an impulse control disorder which is marked by compulsive urge to pluck or pull hair from scalp, eyebrows, beard, facial hair, eyelashes, nose hair or pubic hair. This disorder in the advanced stages can lead to loss of hair in the scalp leading to self create baldness. Trichotillomania or TTM as commmonly refered sets in at early adoloscence. This is a chronic problem with no known cure. If at all any cure can be achieved it has to be through behavioural changes and through habit reversal training and conditioning. This can lead to depression because the affected individual thinks that he or she is the only one who has been affected by this problem as the reporting rate is much much lower than any other psychological conditions.

Psychological Insights

Psychology is one of my favorite fields; I have fallen in love with this field even as I grew up. I always wanted to know why people acted the way they did. Psychology gave me answers to those questions; even though not complete answers, I at least got indicative answers without psychlogical insight which I otherwise would not have understood.

I started gathering more knowledge in this field because it gave me an edge over the others because people became so predictable, which makes it easy to deal with them. I have launched a site on online resources for psychology Online-Psychology and I try to update this website as frequently as possible. However, I think as lazy as I am I will find it rather easier to share my views on various topic of psychology through this blog as this is just "click-away publishing". Wow! I just coined the term "Click-Away-Publishing". Aint I a genius? :)